Marathon or Sprint?

So, in church today Lance was talking about running a marathon for God (being in it for the long haul) or sprinting (quick burst for God and quitting, basically). That got me thinking. It has been a rough week all in all. Grandpa dying didn't help and I've been feeling rather homesick on top of it. This whole "pastor's wife" role has sunk in and my sense of identity and how I fit in has come full circle.

I am currently working from home, doing record reviews online. (Still not cleared to see babies here like I was in KY.) When this job came available, I prayed to God for discernment and Lance & I really feel this is what I am supposed to do. So I think for now I will work from home and not treat children as I have done for the last 16 years. ((GULP)) My head knows this makes sense, that this is best, but my heart is grieving this change in career.

I have also been feeling somewhat lonely and isolated. Since Jordan attends Youth Group near our home and our church is 12 miles away, I spend much time home for her. So, between not going out for work or Bible study or having any friends, it's been a little lonely. I'm feeling a little 1950's housewife!!

I listened to the sermon this morning and I feel I hit the marathon "wall" this past week, with the passing of my Grandpa being the peak of many emotions. I decided I am going to continue this marathon with God. I know this is a season, that He will remain faithful to me and tend to my needs. He has not failed me yet and we've been through a lot together. I'm praying for contentment.

After church, one of the women I know, who is also in the medical field, gave me her number and would like to have coffee. She and her husband asked about my work and I tearfully told them about my decision and they affirmed it. (Thank you, God, for Christian affirmation.) She said she doesn't have many friends and would like to get to know me better. (Thank you, God, for a friend!)

I guess I need a coach in my marathon and pray that the Holy Spirt will lead me in this calling into ministry and as a pastor's wife and mother to Jordan. I pray that I can get through the "walls" that I hit in this marathon.

Grandpa Horstmann

This morning my Grandpa Horstmann (my mom's dad) passed into heaven. He has been fighting painful arthritis and breathing problems for awhile and I guess the last few days have been especially rough for him...and the family. While I know he is in a much better place, without pain and suffering, I am grieving the loss of my grandpa. He was the patriarch of our family. He has 5 living children, 18 grandchildren and lots of great-grandchildren!! The family still gathers (as many as can be there) once a year to celebrate Christmas. We are a close-knit family and a testament to the love that trickles down from the top of the family tree.

This morning I am sad. Sad that I will not see my Grandpa again on this earth when we go back to IL to visit. Sad that I live far away and cannot comfort my mom and Grandma. Homesick for my hometown, my roots, where I came from. Homesick for my extended family and the love that will pour out in rememberance of a great man! I love you, Grandpa...

Roots and wings

That's what my mom says we have to give our children. Roots to stay grounded in the values we teach them, but wings to fly! This week and next a few of my "KY babies" are starting school as 3 year olds. While they aren't my children, I feel so connected to these children as I have said in previous posts. Thier parents are feeling the anxiety of putting their children in school and I am feeling so proud of these little ones for yet another accomplishment in their lives. This is another step for them and one that I have helped them plan for...sometimes for months before reaching this day. It doesn't just happen when school starts. We've had meetings, testing, sometimes tears and frustration, but mostly preparation...in head, heart and physically!! (I think for the moms: mosly heart preparation.) There's such a sense of accomplishment that this day is here and we've made it! I'll say a prayer for my "babies" this week and mostly for the moms as they learn to give their little ones wings.

My Kitchen

I had decided before we even saw this house that I wanted to change the color of my kitchen. I've had a hunter green kitchen since we've been married and wanted a change. Most of my dishes and things are neutral now, so changing the color means paint, rugs and towels. In addition to new color, I wanted to decorate w/ coffee decor. I was thrilled to find out the kitchen was already painted red!! A few of my friends started off my decor with some pictures and stuff and then my mom sent me a late Mother's Day gift and helped me decorate my kitchen the rest of the way!! It is fun and gave the kitchen a punch of color!! Another step to making this house our home.

A Good Day

That's what Jordan said about our day w/ Stephanie & Paul and their family on Friday. "Mom, it's a good day!" There was such a sense of peace and calm in her voice. An ahhh...it's good to spend time with our friends. I agree. It was a great weekend! We spent Friday with them at their condo: swimming in the ocean and pool and even got to eat out at a beach-side restaurant!! Then, they came here for church on Sunday and lunch at our house. Our first official visitors in our new home!! I am so thankful that they shared their vacation with us!! It truly was a great weekend!!

Our new nephew

Ian Robert was born on 8/4/10 weighing 8#, 10.9 ounces and measuring 21 1/4 inches. He is the son of Lance's brother, Zane and sis in law Kim. That is Lance's grandmother in the picture w/ Zane & Ian. She broke her hip on Saturday and had surgery on Monday. They were able to wheel her in to see the baby before she was transferred to another hospital for rehab. It's been a rather exciting week for the family!!! We are very excited about the newest member of the family and can't wait to meet him! I'm working on a flight for Lance...and maybe Jordan! :)